Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Animas and Dragons

Meditation on the 11th house and relationships. Moving away from Mother towards the Knight of Swords. Fascinating... Sacrifice of sin (of some kind -- 9 Lotus) to facilitate this. Meanwhile, I'm getting the 3 Vajras, Reincarnation, and Heirophant in the associated houses.

Overall feeling I get is one of moving away from my usual relationship attitude, which is a very caring and supportive role, towards one rather more prickly, the Knight of Swords. This is necessary because the Mother energies are coming from some kind of sin / unhealthy place.

I want my Anima to help me out here.




Meditation: I went and spoke with a beast in the Abyss of Fear, who I asked to tell me what his beef was. He said he was afraid I was growing too attached to Alison, that everything could blow up in a nasty mess, not just for myself but even more, for her and her family, and I wasn't preparing myself for that. I understand that he's a part of my subconscious that is worried about hurting her. I considered what he said, and I think he was right.

I can't control everything that happens, but I can do the magical work to help make sure no one gets hurt here, no matter what happens; and I can work on myself and this marriage and do everything I can for it. But for now I am extremely thankful to have this issue brought to light, where I can work on it and keep it from blowing up in a nasty way!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Reading for 2011

This is a pair of readings I did on January 13th. The first was 12 cards, one for each astrological house; and one was nine cards, three for each of the druid elements (for me, they are feather, stone, light).

...

Overall tonight I feel like my energies have been dissipated, and I need to gather things up, regain my strength. I don't know if it's the lack of alone time, the lack of meditation time, the near-raw vegan diet, the sense of impending doom :-) or what, but I feel worn, stretched thin. When I think of time alone, I think of rest, recuperation, and renewed energy. I need some direction and insight.

One feeling I get: take more meditation time during the day. Really release the attachments -- they're what's really getting to you.

12-card Meditations:

1st House: Buddha of Jewels (King of Pentacles). Guides: Bison; Gnome. I appear to be a very solid, strong, healthy individual, lord of domain and all that.
Prosperity, wealth, giving, generosity. Good, good...

2nd House: Sakti of Jewels (Queen of Pentacles). Guides: Bison; Gnome. Another sign of prosperity. Also sincerity, empathy; truthfulness; overcoming conceit. The presence of Neptune near the cusp means truthfulness is even more essential. I have *got* to make sure I keep on the up-and-up in ALL things. No little white lies for saving face. Absolute humility.

3rd House: The Father (Hierophant). Guide: Odin. Note that Jupiter dashes through this house in 1st half of year. Uranus also enters in late spring. The Buddhist deck indicates a blockage of creative energies, but I'm not sure that's what's intended here. In my own interpretation, I take the Hierophant to be will & authority, which are not themselves negative qualities.

4th House: Buddha of Lotuses (King of Wands). Guide: Great Bear. Jupiter coming and sitting here in the second half of the year. This is about kingship, the crowning of the Bear, in particular the fiery associations with her. Love, love of love, mastery of feeling.

5th House: Flaming Disk (Tower); Element Rosary. Further info: Ace of Double Vajras (Cups). This indicates the end of some project, or some way of thinking about my projects, and beginning something new. Must be careful not to get too attached to ways of working, or particular projects, etc. Something new, from the waters... The final defeat of the ego; shattering illusion; Courage and Truth. I wonder if this is the end of Yap, and the beginning of a more watery project (writing)? The key here is, again, non-attachment, rolling with the punches, and touching the Earth as the Buddha does in the card: this is the source of all wholesomeness. The Element Rosary reminds me to stay grounded.

6th House: Nine of Lotuses (9 Wands). Guide: Element Rosary. Sacrifice: especially sacrifice of the sins, ie sacrifice of lying, stealing, violence, and so on. A call, I think, to daily discipline and meditation.

7th House: Reincarnation (Wheel of Fortune). Take a larger perspective; things may go from bad to good and back again, but step back and feel the love, feel the Law. Nothing big is happening in this house except when Mars goes through it in September and October. I'm a little concerned because I'm getting married ;-) and that's a classic 7th house thing. A reminder, perhaps, to keep a steady course and practice virtue regardless of outrageous fortune?... ...Or... maybe this is connected to the Luck Dragon? Surprises are not always a bad thing. Expect the unexpected.

8th House: Peacock, Animal of Lotuses (Page of Wands). A card of transforming poison into beauty. Very interesting! I have no guide here... yet. Maybe I should consider getting one.

9th House: Dakini of Lotuses (Knight of Wands). Guide: Cubicle Buddha. Saturn at play around this house cusp, trining Venus and Saturn, conjunct Uranus, all in October. Energy and equanimity in the work for Yap, I think. A fun project? Or, if Yap goes wahooni-shaped, excellent energies for launching a new career. Good. :-)

10th House: Dakini of Jewels (Knight of Pentacles) Earthy energy coming into play in the realm of the career. Bringing dreams to earth, I think.

11th House: Three of Vajras (3 Swords) The larger social sphere? ...I have no guide on this one. I think I need a clarification card. (Is this connected to the Tower in the 5th house across the chart?)

12th House: Four of Vajras (4 Swords). Guides: Luck Frog, Bison. Pluto is here this year, flirting with my True Node; and since Jupiter will be hitting it a couple of times (especially when Jupiter is in Taurus) I can look for unexpected bounty from this direction. The card indicates rest and recovery, so I can look forward to that. :-)

So I think things are pretty clear, except for what's going on in the 11th house.

Feather, Stone, Light

Stone 1: Health. 1st, 6th house. Hanged Man -> 8 D-Vajras -> 10 Lotus. Suffering, sacrifice leads to creative endeavor & wake-up call, and finally rebirth, renewal.

Stone 2: Workflow & balance. 6th house. 2 Jewels -> 7 D-Vajras OR Q Vajras. Choose the Sun (compassion, charity) or the Moon (compassion, nonviolence). Compassion is called for either way, but it's not clear to me what is going on here. Some kind of stagnation is present, and it must break one way or the other. Hmmm... Perhaps the daily meditation will help there.

Feather 1: career, finance. 2nd and 10th houses, 5th. 7 Lotus -> 5 Swords -> 1 Sword. Movement away from anger or excessive fire, through healing, to a new beginning. I think this is good, overall, especially given the largely excellent readings for the 2nd and 10th houses, but care will be needed.

Feather 2: relationship. 7th and 3rd and 11th houses. High Priestess (Mother), 9 Lotus -> Knight Swords. The idea here seems to be to move away from Mother energies towards Knight of Swords energies, using the sacrifice of sin to do so. This looks like a kind of rough situation, most likely having to do with getting a firmer grip on the real truth, and speaking it, rather than being a listening post. ... Tricky. I'll want guides and help with this one.

Light 1: spirit. 12th house, 9th. 6 Vajras -> 3 Lotus -> Karma. Becoming one with your justice, your karma, through (1) protection from a higher power, leading to (2) compassion, renewed energy and freedom. Call on the protection and you'll be delivered, and it's your destiny, man -- you deserve it. This is the biggest news here.

Light 2: travel. 3rd house. Q Lotus, Nirvana, the Sun. An appropriate sequence for all the travel going on this year...! The ultimate reward is Nirvana; relaxation into the better self. Travel, I think, with Alison (the Q Lotus (-: ) into realms of the Sun. Relax and enjoy...


Upshots here. I need to think & work more on the 11th house and relationships. I need to more consistently meditate and touch earth, to make sure I'm headed in the right direction and not off chasing shadows. I need to discipline myself, or I will be disciplined. :-)

Tomorrow I will read over this and do a meditation.