I didn't realize it had been almost five months since I've updated here! Things have been very busy.
In November, I took my first trip to Seattle, a business trip. The trees were still red and gold, and the temperature was perfectly cool and breezy. Thanksgiving we spent in Lancaster. December was very busy with preparing to move and Solstice and so forth; we spent Solstice with the kids in Pittsburgh and Lancaster, and then on Christmas itself we spent a few days relaxing at the Inn on Negley. Looking forward to doing that again in the future -- a perfect place to spend Christmas. Then the 2nd week of January we flew to Seattle and found our apartment; the third week I had to go to Las Vegas for a business trip; and then the next week we moved out. The final week of January we were driving across the country. We spent two nights in Albuquerque, and I particularly felt the landscape there; it was like I'd tipped over the edge of the world at last and was coming to the Glittering World, as the Navajos call it... And on Feb 1 we rolled into Seattle.
Then there was a lot of unpacking and cleaning and whatnot, and both Alison and I have been a bit off-balance since we arrived. We've gotten in touch with some local friends, and taken some long walks in the neighborhoods and parks, and we're starting to get our bearings and establish some routines. The last of the packing materials were taken away on Wednesday, and then Friday Ali got sick -- as though her body were waiting for a chance to do some spring cleaning.
The biggest psychological trouble has come from trying to work out division of child visitation with Emily. I'm not going into all the details here, but basically we spent a lot of money, Emily did not budge, and we're out of money for getting a court of any sort. The lawyers milked us and we got nothing. So there's no change to our custody agreement. I've felt badly betrayed by the lawyers.
There are a number of meditations and dreams I've been meaning to include here:
The higher-level country I've mentioned before -- I don't have a name for it -- is strongly connected with Seattle. The forest by the water, with the elvish city and the stone quays, this is the landscape here. The trees are exactly the same as what I saw in meditation -- not just in how they look, but in how they feel. The grassy field out beyond the trees: not sure what that is yet, but the white standing stone is some sort of hub, a spiral / web connection with all things. Not the World Tree itself: that I've located further in the Earth direction. In general I've gotten more of my bearings at this 'higher' level; I found Apollo, too, and he's in a lower marshy area (!) with a fountain, a very watery temple, but with taller columns and a tall fountain.
Some notes from a meditation around Dec 1:
First card: Wheel of Fortune / Reincarnation. Divination: this is a time of change, and a time when things can happen by chance. Seek the center, seek balance; take care of yourself.
Page of Pentacles / Horse, Animal of Jewels: prana, motion, energy. Facing right, towards...
The Hanged Man / the Invalid: suffering, sacrifice, for yourself or others. The invalid is facing towards...
Siddhartha's Visit / The Chariot: again, motion, but with ideas of balance, curiosity, self-examination.
Overview: there is so much motion here, and again a warning that I need to seek balance and take care of myself. I think I need to insist on doing more zen reading and more meditiation. I like's Steve's advice (http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2011/11/why-logic-always-fails-you/) about how to listen to the heart. I find that when I focus I can hear it very strongly, and I realize that I'm sort of always listening to it, even when I'm unconscious of it. It usually wants things like Rest, Exercise, or Food of a certain kind (often juice or fruit, but sometimes nuts -- never cheese, grain, sweets, etc. It's my brain that wants those things, to give it energy to focus on what *it* wants to do rather than focusing on Rest, Exercise, or Food. :-)
Interesting to think of Light as not just a realm in its own right, but also that which serves to illuminate and clarify the other realms.
4 cards, one for each child:
Savanah: Empress. Keying in to 'the beauty for which one sacrifices'. The potential of great beauty and love.
Jerilynn: 2 2xVajra (2 Cups), 2 fish; piscean imagery. The two fish are the two eyes of the Buddha. Subconscious becoming conscious (more Pisces / 12th house stuff... interesting!)
Josh: Peacock: Animal of Lotuses / Knight of Wands. Transforming poison into beauty.
Fiona: 6 Jewels. Charity.
I think I should set up four homes for the four kids in my inner landscape, and charge my anima with checking on them and alerting me to problems & solutions (& preventing problems). Josh I think goes on the edge of the Forest of Branching Paths, not far from Apollo's temple; Savanah goes on the opposite hill; Jerilynn down by the garden by the sea, and Fiona at the edge of the Sun Prairie.
Dakini of Vajras (Page Swords) -> Sakti of Lotuses (Queen Wands) -> Sakti of 2x Vajras (Queen Cups)
Moving from air, through fire, to water. Reawakening Alison's watery self, to take up Queenship of water. A very vague message. Specifics: patroness of generosity. Refrain from taking what is not offered, and be generous; reflect on the impermanence of life. She is the one who guides from birth and death to Nirvana. She is the darkness after sunset.
Lovers (Sidd. leaves Yasod.) -> 2 Jewels -> Chariot (Sidd. sets out).
My interpretation: remember why you left Emily: not just for you, but also for her. She has had a lot of trouble letting go, and at present things are still frozen (2 Jewels), but it's the final stage: you will soon be off on your chariot. Remember this and it will help you to be strong if there is any trouble. You are doing this for her as well.
Work / Bear / Amazon:
10 Jewels -> 9 Jewels -> Sakti Lotuses. Moving from a time in which I was being foolhardy with wealth, to a time of proper abundance and luck, and coming up on a time of creativity, contentment, protective white light, wisdom of love.
Health / fitness:
From a place of abundance (but, notably, not overabundance -- I am being praised for what I've done so far) (9 Jewels), I move via balance, curiosity (Chariot) and introspection (Ace Vajras) and to a place of healing (5 Vajras) through deep wisdom (Sage). The final outcome is physical manifestation of what has been envisioned (4 Vajras).
The move itself:
3 Lotus: renewed energy and freedom via compassion.
Karma / Justice: walk with destiny; divine forces are arrayed with you.
Visions / Dreams:
Dec 26. On the cliffs above the sea, feeding body fat to the golden lizards.
Feb 1. Surrounded by mountains, white-capped. They are gods.