This is a brief log of a 12-day session of meditation, regular exercise, regular rest, and semi-fasting (raw vegan). I've been feeling a bit frustrated, rushed, and rudderless, as if I was being pushed around by events and people in my life, rather than feeling grounded, centered, and in-myself. That feeling is understandable, given that we just moved across the country, but now I need to get a handle on things and get my feet under me, and get a clear view of the territory. Like our plane has landed, we've disembarked, and it's time to take stock.
The procedure is to use the Storyteller Spread (as outlined by Diane Sylvan) just as I did about a year and a half ago, drawing a card each evening and building up a complete story. The issues I'm trying to get clarity on will be represented by companions or objects that accompany me on the meditative journey. I'll work on doing more to establish a true meditative journey rather than meditating on each card separately -- I think that was a weakness of the last time I tried this.
Morning, Sunday, April 8. 3 of pentacles. Auspicious beginning of a project of manifestation; union of spirit, logic, and physical into something of great beauty. Nice quotes from the card description (p. 209-10).
Evening, Sunday, April 8.
I. Draw a card for the 'stage', the landscape in which the story will take place. Meditate on it.
Knight of Wands. -- A woman with a sword-cane, standing in what's obviously an Egyptian temple. ... Meditation showed that across the ocean from the docks by the City of the Sidhe, in the direction of Earth and Water, the World Tree rises out of the water in a knotted mass of roots; and built on those roots is a half-drowned city, Atlantean in origin, empty, moss- and seaweed-grown, its stone pillars carved with hieroglyphics. I am the only one who will be able to decipher them.
I decide to use the Difference Engine (Steampunk Tarot, p. 288) to give a twist to this basic premise. The four cards are Knight of Swords, Ace of Wands, Queen of Pentacles, and Four of Swords; I decide to go with the Ace of Wands.
Under the Ace of Wands there is: Three of Pentacles, King of Pentacles, King of Wands. These are really powerful cards. I am set to wondering about Kings and the extent to which they represent the influence of Jeff Adams, his boss Bill, and my friend Bill, and the extent to which they might affect the course of this journey... I'm also wondering whether and how they represent parts of myself. To the extent they're Bill, Bill, and Jeff, my gut feelings are: I fear them, they are Other, they will never support me, they will knock the wind from my sails. To the extent they are myself, I am confident of their support, and know that I can meet any challenge...
I will set aside the question of their actual identities for now, external or internal, and assume that they are spirits that are available to assist during the journey. For example, maybe they'll supply me with a steam-ship to get me to the lost city. I think they'll do so if I promise to assist them in some way, or if they're headed that way anyway...
Yes. In medtation, they provide me with a gigantic bronze and glass bee, which will be our transportation. It glitters in an ethereal unearthly way, as if surrounded by a shimmering lace network of force fields.
II Draw one card for each of the five 'issues': Alison, kids, health, Amazon, writing. Meditate on it to determine what kind of companion / object / steed it will be.
- Writing - Queen of Wands. Forceful, skillful, driven, she is the pilot of the bee, and the inspiration of the journey.
- Alison - Page of Wands. Powerful, driven, but not yet skilled, she is the assistant to the Queen of Wands. (And now all four Court Wands have appeared in the spread.)
- Kids - Six of Wands; this was unclear to me, so I drew another card, the Page of Cups. It seems like the kids are being portrayed as people who look up to me. I think that I will be bringing along a small bag of wooden fetishes (wands) to represent their good wishes as I embark, but otherwise I don't think they're coming on this part of the journey.
- Health - Seven of Cups. Again (this theme has appeared more than once recently in my occasional readings) I'm presented with choices. I think I'll pick the dragon in the cup, and bring along a golden Fire Lizard that rides on my shoulders.
- Amazon - the Queen of Swords. She's the judge. I think she'll act as engineer for the bee-flyer, but I'm not certain. She will come along, and we'll see what she does.